Once upon a Friday afternoon…5 May 2006

I locked myself out of the house…

It was an inoocent trip down the block to get meself a nice packet of lunch…

And there it goes…I left my keys.

“God… why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did I left the keys?”

“…”

“Ok, I’m not blaming you, but isn’t this a rather inappropriate timing to allow me to perform such stupidity?”

“There they go again, classical human reasonings”

“God … I have an exam coming in the next few days, and I need to get to work… at least let me know why You allowed this to happen?”

“… as if you’d work if you were inside there anyway…”

“…”

“OK, God was it becoz I fell asleep during my rosary just now?”

“yeah possibly, i thought you were half-asleep when you got out of the house...”

“Ok, God, I know You have a purpose behind this… and it’s gonna be good… that’s what they always say…right? Right?”

“Yeah whatever”

“Ooohh… great, there’s a locksmith advertisement just at the side of the door handle… damn these guys are smart! Thanks, God, I’m going to call them right away!”

“They cost 50 bucks just to open the door”

“>.<”

“ARGH!…. There’s no way I’m spending 50 bucks just to ask some guy to open a damned door for me…”

“Yes, that’s an economically wise decision, I’m proud of you, my child…”

“Thanks… now I need to think of something to do… at least for the next 6 hours before my love comes out of the office and be free to entertain me… and another 2 – 6 hours before my housemate comes back from her work somewhere in an island off

Singapore

“I know, I think I’ll call my Christian godma… it’s been a long time since I visited them anyway…. They may be scary, but they’re good people”

“That’s one good option”

“or another option would be… go to Holy cross and sit in the empty church talking to myself…”

“you mean talking to Me?”

“if I have not been hallucinating all these time”

“you’re not”

“but anywayz, I don’t think I can survive even an hour doing that…we’re social beings right?”

“whatever you choose it’s fine”

“but … but… if I go to see the Christians, they might psycho me again to join them and to ‘leave all your wicked ways behind and repent’ thingy which I find rather uncomfortably ridiculous…”

“but I can’t simply sit in empty church doing nothing… Father may pass by, and he’s scary..”

‘For My sake, just decide on something and do it!”

“Ok ok, I’ll risk my peace and go to the Christians…”

“you seem very reluctant nevertheless…”

“well, it’s not that, God, it’s just that…. For Your sake, they’re Christians!”

“aren’t we all?”

“yeah… in a different sense”

“in what sense?”

“I don’t know… can we drop the subject? We’re just different that’s all”

“ok”

“ok”

“…”

“…but still, God, if I could just get into my room and do my work… I promise I’d work this time! Oh… oh… and I’ll never again fall asleep during my rosary!”

“get into the car”

“…here I go… ”

“good, now it’s time for lessons on patience, mercy, and psychological tolerance”

“God have mercy on me, they keep telling me suffer happily…”

“they have a point there, you know?”

“It’s not like I run away from problems?!”

“well, then what is bothering you so much?”

“nothing, it’s just when people who are more prayerful than yourself keep telling you that you need to listen to them…. God, why not teach me human psychology instead?”

“I am”

“whatever… well, God, you know I love these people… they’re wonderful. It’s just that we’re …. Different”

“Difference is perfection. You learned that in JS2214”

“I’m just not sure how I can still meet them and have a good time while they keep telling me to repent and believein You or go to the other place…”

“Anything is possible for Me”

“…”

“you have anything to say?”

“there must be a reason why You let all this happen. The rosary, the keys, the exam, the Christians, me being here… my decision to be here… I just wish to be closer to You”

“eventhough I have to endure such awkwardness… it feels peaceful… somehow… I feel happy to see my Godma again after such a long while… yeah, eventhough with all those exorcism and rebuking of evil spirits… eventhough I feel like the most sinful person in this room, God…”

“I do not know what You may have for my future. Evnthough people keep telling me that my decisions are not pleasing to You, I believe that You alone will reveal that to me… as I love my life, as I make decisions, as I soar high with You, or fall down crushing to the ground. You will reveal whatever I need to know”

“I love You, I will be with You”

“I know that, God, and I praise you for that”

“Seek Me, and Me only. You will find the truth. Not in the catholic priests, not in the Christians, not in Sr Maggie, not in your Godmas or Godpas, not in any person your are involved with, not in yourself. Walk in My ways, and you will see the truth.”

“yeah… come to think of it… I’ve been putting off spending quiet time with You… I felt so distant just moments ago, but in one chain of events… in this 3 hours, You got me back there… ”

“OK, sermon is over, fellowship time, i.e. time for session 2 of patience and endurance training”

“… God, next time I leave my keys inside…. I’ll just lose that damned $50…”

moral of the story: pray the rosary after you've secured your lunch

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